One thing I’ve noticed after working with hundreds of men on their dating and relationship challenges is this: most of them have massive potential—they’re just unknowingly sabotaging themselves.
A lot of guys carry around bad communication habits and weak social skills that were conditioned in them from a young age. These aren’t innate flaws; they’re learned behaviors—picked up from fathers, brothers, childhood friends. And the biggest thing standing between them and the dating life they want is the need to unlearn those behaviors.
We’re all products of our environment to some extent. But in my case, I had a unique edge.
My Background: The Underdog Advantage
I grew up surrounded by winners. My friends were popular in high school, D1 athletes, future business owners. These guys crushed it with women—and they didn’t even have to think about it.
Me? I was the opposite.
I was the small kid. A late bloomer. I got bullied. Even girls made fun of me because I was smaller than them. I was ignored, overlooked… and then I “grew up” to a grand height of just under 5’9. Still not the most imposing figure.
But I noticed something. There were other guys my height getting tons of attention from women. I started asking myself, “What do they have that I don’t?”
So I watched. I paid attention. I had one thing most men don’t: access to guys who were winning—not just with women, but in life. And I learned from them. I saw what they were doing differently. And once I applied what I observed, my dating life changed fast.
Here are three key observations I made about these so-called “naturals”—and how you can use them to get instant results.
Observation #1: Women Don’t Care How Much You Make—They Care How You Look Like You Make
Ever heard the phrase: “You’re not ugly, you’re just poor”?
I’d take it a step further:
“You’re not ugly—you just look poor.”
Now, that might sound harsh, but stay with me. You could be making six figures, but if your style and grooming are trash, she won’t assume you’re a high-status man. On the flip side, you could be working a regular job—but if your presentation screams success, you’ll get more attention from higher-quality women.
I’ve approached thousands of women. Maybe 1 in 5 asked what I did for work before giving me her number or coming home with me. When you present yourself right, women stop thinking about your job altogether. And that’s exactly what you want.
Even if she does ask, and you’re not in your dream career yet, you can still spark attraction by having a plan. When I was bartending, I’d say:
“Yeah, I’m bartending right now while I save up to launch my events business.”
It was true—and it worked. I dressed the part, walked with confidence, and spoke like a man with a mission. That was enough.
So here’s the takeaway:
Fix your posture and body language.
Walk into a room like you own it.
Dress like a successful man—even if you’re still becoming one.
Attraction is about perceived value. The right presentation changes perception.
Observation #2: The Golden Rule Most Guys Ignore—Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Two of my friends were absolute legends with women. When they were around, I’d usually just sit back and watch them work. And I started to notice what set them apart:
They understood this golden rule:
Girls just want to have fun.
Especially early on, it’s not about proving yourself. It’s not about your resume. It’s about bringing high energy, good vibes, and making every interaction fun.
Out of five equally attractive guys, the girl will choose the one who’s most fun to be around. So how do you become that guy?
Here’s what my friends did:
They brought high energy.
They avoided boring, transactional conversations.
They were quick to banter and tease.
They hyped girls up—without putting them on a pedestal.
For example, if a girl gave them attitude, they wouldn’t get defensive. They’d flip it playfully:
“Whoa, you’re getting a little spicy over there. That’s alright, I like spicy. I’m gonna keep my eyes on you two—y’all seem dangerous.”
And just like that—boom. Laughs. Smiles. The energy shifted. And all because they knew how to keep it light, flirty, and fun.
Observation #3: Social Status Is About Perception—Not Reality
Most guys think “status” means being a CEO or driving a Lambo. But in reality, women assess status based on your social environment.
If you’re the bottom guy at a top law firm, you’ll still look low status. But if you’re the most popular bartender in town—people love you, you know everyone—you’ll be seen as high status in that context.
I had a friend like this: 25 years old, college dropout, living at home with his mom. On paper, he should’ve struggled. But in the real world? Women loved him.
He was the life of the party. His energy was infectious. And women—smart, successful women—were head over heels.
Because status isn’t about reality. It’s about how others perceive you.
So here’s the move:
Build your social circle.
Be someone people want to be around.
Become known in your environment.
You don’t need to be rich or famous. You just need to be high status where you are.
Final Thoughts
If you’re struggling with women right now, know this: you’re probably closer than you think. You don’t need a six-pack, a Ferrari, or a seven-figure income.
You just need to:
Dial in your presentation
Make interactions fun
And shift how others perceive your status
Start there, and the rest will follow.
And if this helped you, consider sharing it with a friend who needs to hear it.
