Let’s be real—being ghosted or rejected via text is no fun. But here’s the good news: it’s totally avoidable. After years of navigating the dating scene and collecting hundreds of phone numbers, I’ve realized that early-stage texting isn’t about building deep interest. Instead, it’s about showing that you’re a fun, easygoing guy who knows how to hold a conversation. Think of it as preserving the connection until you meet in person again—not advancing it prematurely.
Here are my four core texting principles to guide you toward better success in early-stage communication and ultimately, securing more dates.
1. Be Proactive, Not Reactive
When texting, focus on your game plan—not hers. It’s easy to assume that someone who doesn’t respond quickly or enthusiastically is “playing games,” but life gets busy, and sometimes people just aren’t as invested. Instead of worrying about her intentions, focus on how you operate.Decide the level of effort you’re comfortable putting in, and stick to it. Don’t stress about deciphering her actions or feelings—maintain consistency and confidence in your approach. This mindset shift keeps you in control and ensures you’re not reacting impulsively to her every move.
2. Keep It Concise and Skip the Apologies
When texting, less is more. Women don’t need long-winded explanations or detailed updates about your day. Keep responses short, sweet, and high-level. For instance, if she asks how your day was, a simple “Good, how about you?” works perfectly.Similarly, there’s no need to apologize if you haven’t replied in a few hours. Life happens, and it’s okay to be busy. Instead of over explaining, just pick up the conversation and keep things moving naturally.
3. Don’t Be Impulsive
One of the biggest mistakes guys make is letting their emotions or desires cloud their judgment. Whether it’s pushing for a date too soon, flipping the tone of the conversation abruptly, or sending flirty texts that feel forced, impulsivity can backfire.Carry yourself with emotional intelligence and a pragmatic mindset. Don’t let your future goals—whether that’s a relationship or a fun night out—lead you to make hasty decisions in the present. Stay grounded and focused on building a genuine connection.
4. Avoid Double Texting (or Messaging Across Platforms)
If she doesn’t respond, resist the urge to follow up with another text—or worse, send her a DM on Instagram. Patience is key. Wait it out, and if you really feel compelled, you’re allowed one double text. But understand that the chances of it leading to a date are slim.Instead, let opportunities arise naturally. If you share the same social circle, reconnect when you see her in person. If you follow her on social media, wait a couple of weeks and respond to her story. Playing it cool preserves her perception of you and keeps the door open for future interactions. Remember, impatience can come off as desperation, which kills attraction.
Wrapping It Up
Mastering early-stage texting is about staying confident, consistent, and patient. By following these principles, you’ll stand out as a guy who knows how to communicate effectively without overthinking or overdoing it.
If you’re ready to take your texting skills to the next level, check out my full guide as part of my Dating Fundamentals Course. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time!
