Once you get to adulthood, popularity changes.
It no longer matters if you were on the football team or a varsity cheerleader. What counts is how you treat others.
When you make others feel good, they’ll want to spend more time around you. Make that the cornerstone of your social life, and you’ll be sure to flourish with friends.
Being one of the most liked people in your friend group doesn’t take anything extraordinary. All it takes is a little effort.
Try these tips to attract more friends and become the most popular person in your social circle.
Be the “Down for Whatever” Guy
Whenever it comes time to decide on plans, you want to be the guy that says, “I’m down for whatever.”
I remember when my dad told me this, and it made such a positive impact on my friendships and social life.
The way my dad phrased it was this:
“Nobody likes to hang out with someone that always has to have things their way. It doesn’t matter WHAT you are doing, but WHO you are doing it with. It’s better to be happy simply enjoying the company of good people. Where and when isn’t important.”
I implemented this into my social life and instantly noticed a positive change. People are drawn to others who make it easy to have fun.
Being flexible with plans makes things easy.
Remember the Little Things
This is something we can all do better at.
Remember what is happening in people’s lives. It shows them that you care. It makes them feel valued.
“People won’t remember what you said. They’ll remember how you made them feel”.
And I’m not talking about birthdays. I’m talking about life stuff.
If your buddy tells you that he’s got something important coming up, make a point of texting them later and asking how it went.
Think of things like:
- Promotions
- Job interviews
- Doctors appointments
- Family visits
- Relationship milestones
- Family issues
One little text is easy to send and lets people know you care. They will be much more likely to include you in more of their lives.
Say Thank You and Please More Often
This sounds so elementary, but people really struggle with this one!
Why not incorporate something so simple that makes such a positive impact?
Not saying please comes across as bossy and rude, even if it isn’t your intention. It would be best if you avoided that whenever possible.
Even more impactful is sincere thank yous. Say thank you to everybody all the time, every chance you get. It makes you seem nice, and people want to hang out with friendly people.
Here is a perfect example.
When I was running my last business, a good friend asked her husband to help donate some things for an event I was sponsoring. He worked for a large corporation, and they did stuff like this all the time, so it wasn’t a massive favor for him, but it was for me.
After we exchanged supplies, I shook his hand and told him what a huge help he was and how thankful I was for his time and effort.
A few weeks later, my friend told me how her husband said he was surprised at how grateful I was for his help. He said that he was happy to help if I needed anything again.
Saying thank you opened a long-term connection that saved me thousands of dollars.
Find a Unique Talent
When people have a talent that’s unique to them, it piques the interest of others. If you want to stand out in a crowd, it helps if you have something you’re really good at.
Think sports, art, music, video games, etc.
- If you can shred on the guitar, people might invite you to come camping and play some tunes around the fire.
- If you’re a great athlete, you’ll be asked to play in the local softball league or volleyball at the park.
- If you’re artistic, people will invite you to join them on projects.
- If you’re a gym rat, people will ask you to come to work out with them.
Even video games! Yes, video games. If you dominate in Call of Duty, the guys will invite you to play with them more.
If you’re reading this thinking, “I don’t have something I’m really good at” then it’s time to pick a new hobby. It will bring you joy in learning something new, and it will open more invitations to social events in the future.
Learn to Tell Good Stories
We all have that friend that tells painfully long stories.
You know that person who can never tell a simple story? They go on a tangent, breaking off into all these sub-stories that make you forget the original story. Ya, don’t be that person.
When you tell a story, make sure it adds value to the conversation.
Try not to squeeze something in to make yourself look good. If you have a story that makes you look good, that’s an added bonus. But making yourself look good shouldn’t be your intent.
Timing is also crucial.
It’s frustrating when you have the perfect story to contribute to a conversation, and things turn to a different topic. Don’t force your remarks in and take the conversation backward. It feels awkward, and people are sensitive to that kind of stuff.
Get in Good Shape
I know. Why are people so shallow, right?
But it’s not just about your looks.
Others might subconsciously see you as lazy or lacking self-control when you’re out of shape. These are poor qualities to have in a friend.
People prefer to surround themselves with others they perceive to be of a similar lifestyle. That’s why when you see a group of friends out and about, they always seem to share a similar style, shape, and appearance.
People also like to surround themselves with others that encourage them to be better. If someone is in great shape, they probably don’t keep a lot of friends that are obese.
Being in shape also makes you more attractive, and as harsh as it is, being attractive will make you more likable.
We can’t control the face we were born with, but we can maintain our diet and exercise.
Chase Fun Experiences
Too many people work hard all week and then go to the same bars every weekend. Why?
Spend your money on experiences instead.
Book trips to new places and organize fun activities.
- Save for a big concert.
- Go to a comedy show.
- Go boating.
- Go zip-lining.
- Go camping.
Anything besides stomping around the same five bars every weekend.
Create a lifestyle that’s about the next fun experience, and watch how people gravitate to you.
People want to surround themselves with friends to improve the quality of their lives. Friends will flock to join you if you’re known as the person that’s always doing something fun and different.
Connect People as Often as Possible
If you have a network, put it to work for you.
This means social and professional.
Always be looking for ways to connect people in a mutually beneficial way. If you know someone who’s going to a city that you have friends in, connect them so they can have a better experience.
If you know a great real estate agent, introduce them to your friends whenever possible.
Your friends on both sides will appreciate the connection, and they’ll both think better of you when it’s all said and done. It will also make people want to help you the next time they get the chance.
Don’t Be the Drunken Stoner
I hate to break it to you, but if you’re always the drunkest guy at the party, people will never take you seriously.
Sure, you might be well-liked, but is it only because you’ve become the comic relief of every gathering?
There are much healthier ways to make friends and gain popularity.
The same thing goes for smoking weed.
There isn’t a problem with getting high once in a while, but if you’re constantly blasted out of your mind, it will significantly diminish your ability to reach your social potential.
Be Ambitious
This will help you make more friends and make everyone in your life see you in a better light.
When people are hard-working and ambitious, other people flock to be around them. Nothing is more attractive than a person determined to be successful.
People will brag about you.
“Oh ya, John has been crushing it at his job. That dude is going places”.
That’s a lot better than being the guy that calls out sick every time he’s hungover and has been stuck in the same dead-end job for four years.
Learn Practical Skills
The more you know, the more you can contribute.
It pays to be a friend that always has something to offer.
Here are some examples:
- Handy work
- Real estate
- Stocks and investing
- Auto repairs
- Business
- Graphic Design
When you learn practical skills, you’re able to contribute more to the success of others. When a friend wants to start a new business, it will mean a lot if you have some insight on how to get started the right way.
If a friend is buying a new home and you can teach them how to do some upgrades, they’ll love you for it.
Many people need to be more active in developing their knowledge and life skills. Make a point of continuing your education, whether reading books or watching Youtube videos online.
Invite People to Everything You Can
The more, the merrier.
Nobody likes a friend that makes a casual night out an exclusive event.
People love to be included, and the more you involve people in fun social events, the more they’ll want to invite you to do things.
Try to keep the mindset of always including as many people as possible.
There are two exceptions to this:
The person hosting has made it a private event
Inviting one friend might interfere with the fun of another friend
Outside those situations, go out of your way to let others know you want them around.
Ask Sincere Questions
The most talented socializers I know are experts at asking lots of questions.
People like to talk about themselves, so let them. It can be fun learning about other people and their lives. If you are sincere and ask people about themselves, they’ll leave every conversation with you feeling good.
People will avoid you if you’re always looking for opportunities to talk about yourself.
Nothing is more mundane than a friend who only wants to talk about themselves. Trust me, people will be rolling their eyes behind your back.
Don’t “One-Up” People
Sometimes, people try to relate to a story by interjecting with similar experiences. Instead, let the person telling the story enjoy their time in the limelight.
Here’s a simple example:
Imagine someone is telling a story about a big football game they attended, and you happened to be at the same game. It might be your reflex to jump in, hoping to relate to them with the shared experience.
But sometimes that comes across as you stealing their shine.
It might be better to keep asking questions about their experience. Let them finish their story first. Once they’re finished, you can share your experience, but make sure not to one-up them.
