There aren’t many things men find more intimidating than talking to women.
Many men have had a very negative experience talking to women. They’ve experienced harsh rejections, boring conversations, and women who just don’t seem to respond to their efforts.
All of that can be avoided by equipping yourself with the proper tools and by being intentional with your conversations. Use these tips to improve conversations with women and get more dates.
Table of Contents
Don’t Make It an Interview
Asking questions is better than talking about yourself. Still, the idea is to create chemistry, not rush through interview questions.
A lot of men follow the same boring sequence:
- Where are you from?
- What do you do for work?
- How long are you in town?
- Have you been here before?
Try to ask questions that keep the conversation fun and flirty.
Pro Tip: Never ask women what they do for work. It’s one of the most boring topics you can discuss and always kills the energy. In general, avoid talking to people about their jobs in social situations. Spend time getting to know them on a personal level.
Read: The 5 Best Places to Meet Women (and how to approach them successfully)
Find Common Ground
A primary key to building chemistry and building trust is finding common ground.
When a woman tells you where she’s from, you should quickly think of some way to relate to that location.
If she says she’s from Los Angeles, you should be thinking to yourself:
- Do I have a friend there?
- Have I traveled there?
- Can I remember anything interesting or newsworthy about that place to keep her talking?
Keep The Energy High
The energy you bring to the conversation is what you can expect to get back from the woman you’re talking to.
If you’re monotone, staring at the ground, and asking boring questions, don’t expect her to respond enthusiastically.
Suppose you are smiling, energetic, making eye contact, and acting excited just to be there. In that case, women will feed off of that enthusiasm. Act comfortably, and women will act comfortably around you.
Talking to a woman for the first time can be intimidating, but sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.
Poke Fun
The easiest way to get women to laugh is to tease them.
As the conversation evolves, look for ways to poke fun. It could be a sarcastic remark about where she’s from.
Example:
If she’s from Milwaukee. You can say, “Is that what all the girls from Milwaukee say?”
OR
Try referring to her as where she’s from during the conversation.
Example: “Okay, Milwaukee, I see you!”
Pro Tip: ALWAYS smile and make eye contact when teasing a girl. That’s the difference between flirting and being a jerk. It’s not always about your words but the delivery and body language used to communicate them.
Self-Deprecate
Self-deprecation while flirting needs a delicate touch.
You don’t want to appear to be lacking self-esteem, but if used correctly, you can show women that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
You can even use it in tandem with teasing.
Example:
“Well, I’m only from Cedar Rapids. I don’t know if I can compete with a big shot from Chicago!”
OR
“I’m no Leonardo, but I’d still love to paint you like one of my French girls.”
Express Interest Early
Expressing your interest in the first minute or two of the conversation is critical.
This should be done subtly.
My favorite technique is to comment on a specific feature and act almost surprised as if, at this exact moment, you were taken aback by her hair, eyes, smile, etc.
I’ve noticed women particularly enjoy compliments on their smiles, hair, and outfits.
Women put a lot of time into their appearance, so when you take a moment to acknowledge their hard work, it’s appreciated. It also lets them know that you’re not here to be friends and that you have the confidence to express your attraction.
Example:
After a minute or two of conversation, pause and say, “Wow, you have a fantastic smile” or, “Wow, you have incredible hair.”
Whatever it is you say, make sure it’s sincere and authentic. Don’t tell her she has a great smile if her teeth are crooked.
Pro Tip: Tell women that have brown eyes they have beautiful eyes. Almost every woman with brown eyes wishes she had been born with blue or green eyes. They don’t get nearly the number of compliments on their eyes as their light-eyed counterparts, so paying them a compliment goes a long way.
Top 50 Questions to Ask When Dating Online (try on Tinder & Hinge)
